Young and single, we take considerable pride in our looks.
Men are competitive by nature, wanting to attract, meet and date the best candidates. Working out, team sports, watching our weight and grooming was most likely part of the routine.
After marriage, if we’re honest, most men are not as concerned with maintaining their physical appearance.
The hair on our heads often gone, we’ve gained weight, the woman we wanted to impress is won over, after all, she married us. We don’t need to go to too much trouble, right?
During a period in my life, I was home full time. I put on weight, stopped shaving and some days, even showering. I wore the same pair of shorts and an old t-shirt often for days.
Down on life and frequently depressed, I thought, why bother? Do you think my wife viewed me as the man she married? At the height of my self-pity, I would have argued, it didn’t matter.
Men often dismiss self-care as something feminine.
If you achieved a degree of success, I am willing to bet the woman in your life invests in herself; trimming, painting, plucking, shaving, dying, styling, and makeup are standard habits of women who desire to look and feel their best.
Men are physical by nature and we need to be attracted to our spouse. What would you think if your wife, who has long since mastered self-maintenance, deemed it no longer important? Instead, she became focused on ease of maintenance.
She forgot about shaving her legs, cut her hair short, no longer bothered wearing makeup, painting nails or taking pride in her clothes. What if she stopped trimming her pubic hair? After all, she’s married, why bother?
Even if you’re among the most understanding of men and want to be supportive, it would be an adjustment. Yet, men grow back hair, nose hair and boast untamed crotch hair.
Length of time married doesn’t matter, make it a priority.
Some of you might be chuckling, “my wife gave up grooming long ago.” If this is the case, do you find it attractive?
Our appearance needs to be a priority. Neglecting how we look comes at our expense. Our wife may still love our unkempt, ugly self, but does she want to be with us physically? Does she enjoy getting naked?
Grooming communicates, “I care about what you think of me” to the woman in your life.
How you present yourself, communicates to everyone around you, including your spouse, your self-image.
Taking pride in your looks, communicates a high self-worth; you care about you enough to invest. If you’re unable to invest in you, how can you expect it from others?
During our boot camp, we put men though a series of mental and physical exercises that prove to be life enhancing. Men who experience our events communicate a need to bring about lasting change. Some of these men are at risk of losing everything; their health, marriage, family, even themselves.
These men undergo a comprehensive transformation that is part mental, emotional and physical. We start with the body, testing limitations, uncovering weakness, laying out a routine, tailored to the individual.
We do deep dives into upgrading men’s emotional intelligence and awareness, understanding self, our marriage, fatherhood and work.
We educate, upgrading food awareness and how it fuels us, again preparing a course of action for men to follow long after returning home.
These men leave, forever changed with a clear plan on moving forward. Appearance is a part of this transformation.
Self- maintenance communicates to your world, change is taking place. Single or married, manscaping needs to be a part of your routine. It sends a message, communicating yes, you are evolving.
You represent your own brand. It’s your obligation to see to it that you present well to the world; for your wife, your children, your team, and most importantly, for yourself.
Stewart Roberts: Father, husband, entrepreneur, angel investor, guest lecturer, board member, volunteer. Stewart worked for Morgan Stanley in New York City, co-founded TIX China, a Shanghai-based trading company; studied at Harvard and served as Orange County President of Tech Coast Angels. He has guest lectured at both UCLA’s Anderson School and USC’s Marshall School of Business. For eight years he served as a CASA mentor. Today, he leads men through life’s transitions with books, bootcamps, masterminds and online courses.
StewartRoberts.com